First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize