Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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