i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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