my vag is so smooth its legendary
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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