The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
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After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
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We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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