I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize