Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
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idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
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The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
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