you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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