I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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