WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Randomize