Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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