Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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