News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize