Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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