no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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