We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
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I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
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Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize