My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Randomize