I'm so fucking centered right now
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
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