Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
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he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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