1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize