I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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