i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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