Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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