my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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