Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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