there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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