WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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