READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize