Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
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On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize