Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
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It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
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KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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