sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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