wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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