You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
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I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
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i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
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