You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
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My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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