OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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