That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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