I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
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