Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize