Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
If that was your dad, he is hot
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize