Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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