Are we in a gay sports bar?
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I touched a dick in church today
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