I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
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a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
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I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
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