dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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