i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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