I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
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I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
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You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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