Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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