Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
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Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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