Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
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