Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
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Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
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If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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