friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize